I often reflect on my experience living in another country. It literally changed my life.

Not knowing the language when I first arrived and then gradually regaining my ability to communicate was a transformative experience.

Don’t get me wrong. This was so different from the bewildering rite of passage that so many desperate and displaced people go through around the world. I was there completely and utterly voluntarily.

I suppose that is what separates the expat from the asylum seeker; agency and the ability to choose.

However, it was definitely a humbling experience. I was effectively mute and relying solely on other to translate for me. To procure my daily needs! Perhaps that is a peculiarity that resides only with native English speakers? Our language has achieved such global dominance that we are often guilty of expecting everybody to understand us, wherever we may go.

My new home was in Italy. Pre-internet, the only tool at my disposal was a mini English/Italian dictionary.

I returned to live in Australia permanently in the early 2000’s, after 10 years of living abroad. It was not an easy decision and I left a piece of my heart back there permanently. To me it is such a cruel stroke of fate, its immense distance from Australia.

This leads me to imagine just how difficult it must be for the myriad other recently arrived residents in this country, be they international students, refugees, asylum seekers, migrants or expatriates. Trying to navigate a new country with a different language and culture is incredibly bewildering.

I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity in a beautiful, vibrant country like Italy. I feel equally lucky that I had that option to return to my home country when I was ready to. That privilege is not available to so many displaced people around the world.

I sometimes ask myself, if Facebook had been invented earlier, would I have stayed? I was miserably homesick and probably suffering from depression at the time. I certainly never even entertained the thought of accessing mental health counselling.

If anything I have written about resonates with you, I encourage you to reach out for help. There are many support services available in different languages.

What you have already achieved is no small feat in itself.

*Postscript

I wrote this blog post a few weeks ago now. Most likely I was feeling nostalgic after speaking to relatives in Italy.

Then a few weeks later my lovely friend Julia announced that she was returning to her home country (Brazil) after recently completing her degree here as an international student.

Everyone who knows and loves her wishes she would change her mind and remain here in Sydney. But I immediately understood her reason for going home.

It is just so hard to live in a foreign country without a social safety net. As an international student, Julia paid full price in university fees, had no access to Medicare or other services that we Australians take for granted.

Ultimately though, the cost of living and constant struggle gets you down. The stress puts you in a constant state of anxiety. You need your family. You find yourself heading back to where you feel whole, and towards that warm, familial embrace.